How high is your self esteem? And where does it come from?

Recently, I find myself wondering where mine went. Perhaps it has eloped somewhere with my confidence... Thanks a lot guys! >_<

But seriously, I do find that I'm not really wanting to model so much anymore... It's a fun creative hobby, but there is always that superficial element too... Honestly, I feel very very ugly. I feel embarrassed when I leave the house - there are so many beautiful people everywhere and I think 'what must they think of me? they must be so disgusted!', I even feel guilty for owning so many beautiful clothes. Surely some pretty girl somewhere deserves them more?

Not only that, I feel stupid as hell too. Whatever happened to the straight A student? Nowadays I can barely hold a decent conversation.

I just hope that this massive low in self esteem will lead to a positive transformation. At the moment it feels like life revolves around my work And that definitely can't help, as I'm not even good at my job!

Ah, it's frustrating. The only thing that interests me now is escapism.

Sorry for such a miserable entry! I just wondered if others are feeling the same at the moment, or have done before. If so, how did you turn things around? Is there a good way to raise your self esteem and confidence without being a massive twat? I'd love to know xx